


I Love You, Asshole (Alternate Ending)

by Psychopathic_Nerd54



Series: Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One Shots [11]
Category: Dem Salty Bois - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gar Quits the Group, Gar/Ritz is an underrated ship and I will take that to my grave, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Missed Opportunity, Pat hates Gar, Ritz is a good boyfriend btw, Suicide Notes, no happy endings here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopathic_Nerd54/pseuds/Psychopathic_Nerd54
Summary: The alternate ending to my previous work I Love You, Asshole. It's longer and has more warnings attached, but probably is my favorite version.
Relationships: Garuku | Garuku Bluemoon/PatrckStatic, Garuku | Garuku Bluemoon/RitzPlays | Shawn Arthur
Series: Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/929742
Kudos: 3





	I Love You, Asshole (Alternate Ending)

**Author's Note:**

> I would also like to point out this was written 3 years ago lmao let's all keep this in mind.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, ASSHOLE!" And with those words, the entire call went quiet. Gar froze where he was. He didn't mean to say that. Fuck, he really didn't mean to.

The Fruit Loops were recording an episode of Golf With Friends at that moment. It started out okay, with Pat ignoring Gar as usual and JP screaming nonsense and Wade regretting being friends with them. Gar really didn't mean to snap and say that. He knew Pat's feelings for him didn't even reach that of acquaintances. Gar had no idea what he did to make the other hate him so much but it hurt like hell knowing his feeling were not only unrequited but that the man he loved hated his guts and he didn't know why.

"Gar..."

"No, Wade! Stay out of this! You too, JP." Pat snapped, voice filling with rage. Gar's heart was beating painfully in his chest as he waited for Pat to continue. He wanted to just disappear but he knew he couldn't.

"Pat, I--"

"No, you don't get to speak either, Gar." Pat snapped irritably. "You don't GET to say anything to me right now. What you can do is fuck off. I have dealt with your bullshit for a lot longer than I ever wanted to. Let me make this clear for you. I don't like you. I never have and I _NEVER_ WILL."

"PATRCK!" Wade snapped in disbelief. JP stayed quiet through it all, probably shocked out of his wits. Gar felt his heart break painfully in his chest. He had to just get out of there.

"No Wade, it's okay. I get it." Gar cut in. "I'll just go." His eyes were stinging with tears. The last thing he wanted was for Pat to hear him cry.

"No Gar, wai--"

Gar had already disconnected.

Gar dragged himself away from his recording set up, feeling numb. Why did he have to fall for the biggest douche he knew? Pat's words kept ringing in his head as he collapsed on his couch. He didn't even _try_ to let him down gently. It was brutal, but Gar still loved him. What's wrong with him?

Gar buried his head in his hands, tears beginning to fall. He knew it was going to happen eventually, so why was he so upset?

Not too long later, Gar's phone went off in his pocket. It was probably Wade or JP checking up on him. He didn't feel like talking to either of them, he just wanted to lay there and feel sorry for himself. He ignored ring after ring until he just fell asleep where he was, hugging a pillow to his chest, tears staining his cheeks.

~~~

A week later, Gar had barely moved from the couch, only standing to go to the bathroom or to take care of Dante. He hadn't even checked his phone, he hadn't felt up to it.

During that week, Gar just felt dead to the world. He couldn't get his head off of what happened with Pat. He was hurting, but he rarely cried over it. He just laid there, either watching TV or sleeping. He didn't talk to anyone.

A week after the incident took place, Gar was awoken by a knock on his door and Dante bOrking at it in response. Gar groaned.

"GO AWAY!" The distressed man screamed at the unwanted visitor outside his door. He cringed at his own voice, realizing it sounded dry and shaky.

"Gar? Let us in!" Gar was able to recognize the voice as Wade's. How was he outside his door? And who was 'us'?

With that curiosity blinding him, Gar slowly stumbled off the couch and dragged himself over to the door, knowing he looked a mess. On the other side, a Wade, Molly, and JP who literally flew all the way to California just to check on Gar stood worriedly.

Gar opened the door, aware of his appearance since he hadn't taken care of himself in a week.

"Hey Gar!" JP greeted happily. "Wow, you look terrible!" Wade smacked his arm.

"What are you guys doing here?" Gar asked, ignoring JP's comment entirely and scratching his head.

"We were worried about you. We haven't heard from you at all." Molly sent Gar a worried glance as she spoke.

"Yeah, you really scared us there." Wade added on.

"Well, I'm fine." Gar lied easily. He hadn't been fine in a long time.

"Okay, even I can tell that's a load of bull crap." JP chimed in. Gar rolled his eyes at him.

"No offense but I really don't want company right now."

"Well too bad, we're staying." And with that said, the three invited themselves into Gar's home. The latter groaned loudly in annoyance.

"DANTE!!" JP screamed as the corgi ran up to them bOrking happily.

"Well, while you guys distract yourselves with Dante, I'll just go back to...whatever." Gar sluggishly moved back to his home for the past week, aka his couch, and collapsed once more onto it, his face buried in his hands. Only this time, Molly sat down on the arm of the furniture next to his head, stroking his hair.

"How've you been holding up?" She asked sympathetically.

"What do you think?" Gar's reply was muffled, voice laced with sadness. He let out a deep sigh before removing his hands, looking up at Molly. "Why does Pat hate me so much, Molly?"

"Pat's just--"

"He's not worth it, Gar." Wade cut Molly off, coming in the room, JP following close behind like a lost puppy.

"But--"

"But nothing. You'll get over him." It was Molly who spoke this time.

Gar let out another groan, turning onto his stomach and burying his face in the cushions. "Can you guys just go away please?"

"Gar.."

"Please?" Gar cut Molly off. The three exchanged concerned glances before slowly moving to leave.

"JP will be in the other room if you need anything. Wade and I have an errand to run." Molly declared. Gar just made a noise of acknowledgment in response.

~~~

A few hours later, Wade and Molly were still gone and JP had decided to make it his goal to get Gar cleaned up a bit.

The younger of the two waltzed into the room, turning on the night, causing Gar to groan.

"Okay Gar, I know you're sad and all but I'm tired of your baloney. Get up and go take care of yourself."

"No."

"I won't take no as an answer!"

"Well it's the only one you're getting."

"Come _ooonnn_ Gar! You need to go shower."

"Are you saying I stink?"

"What? No I'm not!" He paused for a moment. "Okay, maybe I am but PLEASE!"

Gar let out a breath of air that was almost, sort of a laugh. "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssseeeeee?"

"No"

JP sucked in a big breath. "PPPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

"....No."

"Ya know what Garcoco? I'm about to--"

"We're back!" Wade's voice was heard from the front door. Gar could hear three pairs of feet coming their way. Wait, three?

Gar lifted his head to see the last person he wanted to see standing in his house, awkwardly scratching his neck and avoiding all eyes. All the sadness and despair Gar had felt over the last week was suddenly gone and replaced with pure anger.

The latter bolted off of his place on the couch, body tense as he glared disbelieving at Pat.

"What the _FUCK_ is he doing here?!" Gar shouted, honestly enraged that his friends brought him to his house.

"Uhhh, it was JP's idea!" Wade responded quickly.

"It was _NOT_!" JP defended himself, shaking his head incredulously.

" _LIES_!" Wade shouted. JP started to respond but Molly cut him off.

"BOYS! Now is not the time!"

"Sorry." The two chorused. Gar barely noticed what was happening, his eyes were trained to Pat. Pat, who still was looking at the floor quietly. Gar did notice, however, when the three started leaving the room.

"STOP!" Gar yelled at his retreating friends. "Why the hell would you bring him here?"

"So you could _talk_ to him, Gar! We think it would be good for both of you!" Molly comment exasperated.

"Earlier today you told me to forget about him, now you're asking me to talk to him. Molly, look at me. I'm a mess. You can't expect me to talk to him!"

"I just think it's a good idea that you two talk face-to-face. You need to set things straig--"

"He made his feelings for me _VERY_ clear. I don't need to hear that again." Gar felt tears well up in his eyes. He took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, which did nothing for him.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Wade whispered over to Molly who shushed him.

It was then that Patrck finally spoke up.

"Can I say something?" He asked quietly, which only enraged Gar more.

"No." Gar responded at the same time Molly said "Yes." Gar sent a glare at everyone in the room before focusing on Pat.

"No Patrck. You don't get to speak. You think you can say to me what you did and then show up _AT MY HOUSE_ a week later with those puppy dog eyes and that sad look and expect me to be okay about it? That's _NOT_ how this works."

"To be fair, I was kind if kidnappe--" Patrck started to speak but got cut off.

"LET ME FINISH!" Patrck shut his mouth quickly, looking back at the ground. "I get it, okay? I get that I'm hopelessly in love with you and that you hate my guts. I get it, but I'm done pretending like I'm okay with it. I'm done pretending like I'm alright when clearly I'm not. I'm done, Patrck. I'm done with you. I'm done pining over someone who will _CLEARLY_ never love me back. You get your wish, Patrck. I'm done with you. And as long as you're still part of it, I'm done with the Fruit Loops."

"Now wait a second!" Wade cut in astonished.

"Gar, we're not the Fruit Loops without you in it!" JP whined.

"Well then replace me! I'm just done with all of it. I want you out, Patrck."

"Gar, wait." Patrck took a few steps closer to the man, who looked away from him in an almost flinch.

"Just go." Gar's voice cracked as he spoke, a single tear rolling down his face.

"Come on Pat, I'll take you home." Wade said, sounding just as sad as everyone else.

"All of you." Gar said so softly the others almost missed it.

"What?" JP asked desperately.

"I want all of you out. Just leave me alone. Stay with Pat or at a hotel, I don't care. Just leave." This time, Wade was the one who snapped.

"Are you really going to do this, Gar? Throw away everything, kick everyone out of your life, just because of a guy?" Wade yelled.

"I CAN'T FACE HIM, WADE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? I'M DONE BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE MYSELF IF HE'S IN MY LIFE IN ANY WAY ANYMORE AND I'M _SO SORRY_ IF THAT INCLUDES YOU GUYS TOO!" Gar was beginning to break down, tears falling faster from his eyes.

"Gar, please..."

"No JP. Just get out, all of you."

And with that said and with one last hug from Molly, the guys left, leaving Gar alone with Dante. As soon as the door shut, Gar fell to his knees, sobbing into his hands. Dante ran up to him, bOrking and jumping on him. Gar let out a dry laugh in between sobs as he stroked Dante's head.

"It's just you and me now, bud."

Gar, heartbroken and depressed, managed to crawl himself into his recording space, aware he needed to explain his absence from YouTube for the last week and the recent events.

Still looking like the mess he was and still crying desperately, Gar turned on the camera. He put on the best smile he could with tears rolling down his face.

"Hey, I'm back. Sorry I've been gone for so long." Gar paused, taking a deep breath. "I have to talk to you guys about something and I'm sorry this is happening but it's for the best.

"As most of you may have figured out at this point, I have been in love with Patrck for a really long time. So long that it makes what's happening now a lot more difficult than I want it to be. A week or so ago, I accidentally told him, he rejected me rather harshly. I knew he hated me in advance, but it did still hurt. That's why I've been gone for so long.

"And that's also the reason for the news I'm about to give. I'm so sorry it's come to this but as of now, I'm done making videos with Pat, Wade, and JP. I'm sure they'll replace me soon enough but I'm out of the Fruit Loops. I can't deal with him anymore. I can't deal with his hate.

"I'll still post, I won't let Pat ruin me that much, but I'm done with them. I just need to get over him and I can't do that with any of them still in my life.

"I will post the footage the four of us have recorded recently that's not out yet but that's the last you will see of us from me. And I'll no longer be in any of their videos."

Gar took a deep breath, lip quivering. Tears had been falling the entire time he was speaking, but he kept his composure enough to keep back the sobs.

"I'm so sorry any of this is happening. Maybe in a few years, when everything's passed, we can go back to how things were but I can't control my feelings, and I can't control Pat's hate for me.

"So this is my goodbye from the Fruit Loops. It was fun while it lasted but I can't stay. I'm sorry." And with that, Gar turned the camera off. He would upload it tomorrow. For now, he was broken. He dragged himself to his bed, for the first time in the week, and collapsed on it, breaking all over again. Dante joined him and together, they fell asleep.

~~~

**TWO YEARS LATER**

It had been two years since Gar had kicked the Fruit Loops from his life. It was tough at first, he wasn't gonna lie, but he felt like his life was better because of it. He had a boyfriend now, who he now did videos with. He had made friends. Sure, he kind of ended up in Wade's life again since his boyfriend and friends did videos with him every now and then and it was rough being launched back into this reminder of the past but it was okay. Wade never brought up what happened and Gar felt like they were on good enough terms to keep it from being awkward.

Shawn who was known as Ritz on YouTube (Gar's boyfriend), Minx, Doxy, Deaf, Dunce, among others have welcomed him wholeheartedly into the group. Sure, it was awkward at first but he got along just fine with them.

Gar had come to find out that Pat, Wade, and JP no longer called themselves the Fruit Loops. Gar watched the video they posted explaining it: they didn't feel like they could keep the name without Gar there since he was such a big part of them. He felt bad for leaving them but that was his past now. They never replaced him, it was just the three of them and occasionally Molly. They didn't seem to want anyone else.

Gar still watched their videos. They talked about him a lot. He noticed that every time his name got brought up, Pat would get really silent. Gar figured it was just because he didn't want to snap like he did the day he confessed his feelings.

Gar still had Dante and the two were now living with Shawn, who moved in a few months after they started dating. He was satisfied with life, happy in it. Shawn made him happy and he knew this was a much better life than he could have ever had with Pat. He sometimes wondered what would have happened if Pat had come back for him or if he had stayed with the Fruit Loops but in the end, he didn't regret his decision as much as he thought he would in the time it happened.

Today was the two year anniversary of the day it all happened. Last year, it was much harder to deal with. He didn't have Shawn there to distract him and he ended up spending the day on Patrck's channel, seeing how well he was getting on without him, not noticing the way he was becoming less and less energetic or the way he seemed to keep to himself more when recording. He didn't notice how thin Pat had become or the dark bags constantly under his eyes or the obvious way he made a constant conscious effort just to smile or laugh. He didn't notice any of it.

This year, though, Gar had Shawn to keep him away from YouTube and his thoughts away from the Fruit Loop, which he was more than grateful for. Gar knew it would be much harder without the distraction.

But then, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Shawn said, unwrapping himself from around Gar, who was previously snuggled against his chest, giving him a quick kiss before standing and heading over to the door, Dante following excitedly.

"What are you doing here?" Gar heard Shawn ask in concern as soon as he opened the door.

"S-something's happened. I needed to deliver the news myself before it hit the internet." Gar recognized the voice immediately as one he hadn't heard in two years. What was JP doing at his door?

"Gar! Can you come here for a moment?" Gar heard Shawn yell from the door. He stood, curiosity getting the better of him, and started heading in that direction.

When Gar got over to the door, the first thing he noticed was the tear stains under JP's sad eyes. The next thing he noticed was a piece of paper in his shaky hands. Gar quickly became worried.

"Gar, I'm afraid I've become the bearer of bad news." JP said before Gar could even get a word out. What could have happened? The JP Gar remembered was energetic and random and insane. This JP was sad and closed off and cautious. This JP seemed more like a ghost than a person.

"JP." Gar said slowly. "Why don't you come in?" He offered, only for JP to deny with a shake of the head.

"I can only stay for a moment." He said sadly. "I just came to tell you what happened and to give you this." He held up the paper. "It's from Patrck. He asked that you get it."

Gar stiffened at the name JP mentioned. "Well, whatever it is, I'm not interested in what he has to say. Now if you excuse m--" Gar started to say, shutting the door. JP cut him off mid sentence, yelled as the door shut on him.

"Gar, Patrck's dead!" Gar froze, opening the door again. Fresh tears were falling from JP's eyes.

"Oh my god.." Gar heard Shawn mutter next to him, grabbing his hand sympathetically and squeezing it.

Gar couldn't think straight, he just stared at the boy at the door, waiting for him to continue.

"H-he was found last night. Marie found him hanging from the ceiling in his recording space. Wade and I were the first people she called, we flew over this morning. She said he left a note. Well, two notes, actually. He wanted you to have this." JP handed Gar the paper. "None of us have read it, we figured it was your business."

Gar took the paper from him, reading over it quietly. Tears were just beginning to fall.

"Look, I really need to go. Wade and Molly are waiting on me." JP started to walk away but before he could fully run off, Gar pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry about what happened two years ago. I'm sorry I left. I'm so sorry that he's gone." Gar said to JP before letting him go. Shawn wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting Gar lean into him.

"It's okay, I get it." JP said awkwardly. "I'll see ya around, yeah?" He asked.

"Of course." Gar responded before JP walked away and Gar shut the door behind him.

"Are you okay?" Shawn asked immediately. Gar shook his head, his lip quivering slightly.

Shawn was quick to catch Gar as he fell, sobs wracking his body.

"I can't believe he's gone." Gar said over and over again as Shawn comforted him as best he could, feeling useless. There was absolutely nothing he could do to make him feel better.

The two stayed like that on the floor for what seemed like hours before Gar fell asleep in Shawn's arms. Shawn let out a sigh, looking down at his broken boyfriend.

Shawn picked Gar up, carrying him to their bed. He laid him down, crawling into bed next to him. Gar immediately cuddled into Shawn in his sleep, who gave a small smile down at the man.

"I love you Gar." He whispered in his ear.

"I love you too, Patrck." Gar mumbled in his sleep. Shawn's heart broke slightly as the words but he let it slide in favour of giving Gar the comfort he needed. That was all he could do for him anymore.

~~~

_Dear Garuku,_

_Has it really been two years since we last spoke? Wow, time really flies, ya know?_

_I know you probably don't want to hear from me. I mean, why would you? I'm the man who broke your heart. But what you don't realize is that while you were moving on without me--without us--I was realizing my true feelings for you and getting my own heart broken in the process._

_I know you're happier now, I know you're in a relationship. Shawn's really a lucky guy. I know you're happy with him. I don't want to ruin that but I can't deal with the pain of losing you. That's why I did it. That's why I'm gone._

_I'm sorry if I ruin anything with this note, I just needed to let you know how I feel before I'm gone. I love you Garuku Bluemoon. But I missed my chance. I missed getting to have you._

_I never stopped regretting what happened that day. I should have gone back for you. I should have told you I loved you. But I didn't. I stayed silent, watching you move on. Watching you fall for someone else._

_So I'm sorry to spring this on you now, you don't deserve to deal with this, but I'm dead now. A dead man can't come in between your relationship._

_I know this isn't fair to Wade and JP. Losing you, then me two years later. It should have been different, it could have been, if I wasn't such a coward. But this is the way this had to go. I'm sorry, Gar. I truly am. But it's better this way. Everyone can be happy now._

_So goodbye Gar. I really hope you and Shawn are happy together. You deserve a life of happiness with each other. I know he can give you what I never could._

_-Patrck Static: The man who lost his chance and took his own life along the way._


End file.
